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tothelightTHREE WEEKS LATER.... WRITEUP IS COMPLETE.....
Heart was here! Disclaimer: This writeup contains spoilers for the later part of Star Ocean: Till the End of Time/Star Ocean 3.
Initial Blather
HOKAY, so after writing and scrapping ONE MILLION DRAFTS later, with some advice from others I started writing Claude's heart based on the bare bones of his characterization as I see it and play it in an amnesia murdercave, which really boils down to this excerpt from the first manga:
"I really don't know much about him at all; where he was born and where he came from. He won't talk about anything about himself. It's just that-- he bluffs in front of you and me, but... sometimes he seems more lonely than I am. Like a child who was suddenly pulled away from his home. All the things and people he knew completely vanished, leaving only him. He's desperately searching for it.... the only place for him to live in."
"He's strong, then. I can't stand being alone."
"Strong? No... Claude is weak. He might even have the most unstable heart of all of us. Though he's weak and lonely, he tries desperately to protect his friends... In protecting another, he's trying to survive."
And:
"The opposite of me, who tries to find salvation in fighting for myself... he tries to survive by protecting others. Something as cumbersome as friends (nakama) I can do without... But in his case he won't feel satisfied unless he helps. No matter how hurt he is, Claude will protect you. That's the kind of person he is."
- someone who, by himself, is actually weak and afraid and lonely, who needs a "place" to belong to.
- because of that, people who accept him and are bonded to him are what gives him strength and that sense of belonging.
- because of that, he will give his all to protect those "bonds", because they validate his existence. It's not a matter of survival on a physical level so much as of his "heart".
This is the core that hasn't changed regardless of memorywiping or his experiences in murdercave, and forms the basis of the True Heart. From the True Heart spirals a few main manifestations of the heart, and secondary manifestations thereafter, and areas based on those.
Another thing about him I wanted to give a shoutout too for heartgame-- though based on one super remote hinted in Star Ocean 2 itself, but a part of that overall universe's canon, because Squeenix--- is that "Claude C. Kenni" is a "simulated existence". An AI program in a gigantic universe simulator called the Eternal Sphere, intended partly for research and partly an MMORPG for a race of beings from a Higher Dimension. And while more reasonable to interpret the Eternal Sphere as the general "real" human universe shared with a multitude of other canons, and make Claude as flesh and blood 100% normal as the average human in Sabra, I decided it would be more fun to at least work some of that special snowflakeness in if I could '-'
THIS IS MY PRELIMINARY APOLOGY TO THE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY PLAYED HIS CANON AND SAW THIS AND WONDERED, CLAUDE, WHAT THE BANANA ARE YOU DOING. ALL THE APOLOGIES FOREVER
The third important thing I needed to include was the impact of the mild(?) case of Queen's influence that was still lurking in him, which had basically been affecting his natural impulses and adding some unnatural ones in (bloodlust, etc.)
IN THE END I didn't really manage to prewrite like half the rooms so a number of them (important ones) were done on the fly :') and a lot of stuff ended up not getting highlighted... oh well.
----
General Mechanics Notes
* Apart from the True Heart, and a unique one I'll get into later, there were three primary aspects, with a group of secondary ones affliated with each (some overlapping). In the end I ended up using Nishi's heartgame as a reference for this, so the three are looooosely based around the idea of the Id, Ego and Super-ego. EXTENT OF FAMILIARITY WITH THESE CONCEPTS is Wikipedia and memories of a playthrough of Xenogears over a decade ago, so emphasis on "loosely".
* The only aspects with a "name" are the True Heart + 3 + 1; only the True Heart considers himself "Claude". The secondary ones refer to themselves in terms of what they do (though for writeup purposes they have labels, too).
Id: The Nameless
Ego: The Blank
Super-ego: The Hero
* Secondary manifestations were all Claude forms-- non-Claude characters could be interacted with but weren't unique representations of any particular parts of his own character. Served more as projections of memories and visualizations of their role in his heartspace. Entirely possible to encounter more than one of the same character in different places.
* Under normal circumstances, it would be impossible to actually die in this heart unless you tried to suddenly suicide etc. It would be very difficult to severely injure yourself either. Anyone who got in over their heads would find the Hero or other manifestations bailing them out of it.
* Visual distinctions: Main aspects get unique clothing, most secondary ones nondescript shirt/pants in combinations of white/grey/black depending on their affliation. A few strongly associated with a particular physical setting might get more (e.g. Cepheus colors for the Craftsman)
Secondaries also don’t get headbands. Cheap symbolism, it's awwwwright.
* Physical traits of rooms drawn predominantly from Sabra, some from his memories of Expel, because those are the places he has the strongest emotional ties to/the ones connected to much of his present development. I know a space level was expected, and there were a couple of rooms that weren't explored that would've been based on that, but in general it didn't feel right to build the major rooms with it. Sorry dudes :(
----
Actual Pregame Notes Notes, And Some Stuff Written Along The Way
Preliminary HeartTechnobabble Flavortext
[ -loading- ]
No sound, no feeling, no scent, no sight-- there's a moment, a very brief moment, where you float in nothing. No one else to be seen but you.
Lights flicker at the edge of your vision, spots that stretch into streams of digits shooting endlessly past.
A blinding flash, then--
[ -start- ]
Notes: Purely atmospheric setup, etc etc.
True Heart - "Claude"
Keywords: simple, core, distillation, all-colors
Domain: The Hub
A. The Hub
Area (image link):
...you find yourself with a smooth wooden floor under your feet, looking over worn stone battlements to a vista of rolling green countryside, dotted with forests and fields, stretching off into some hazy distance you can’t make out. The sky overhead is grey with clouds, while a breeze blows towards you, bringing with it the scent of leaves and water.
Behind you, it’s like the structure you’re standing on was built into the side of a cliff. Or maybe the cliff decided to bisect it; wood and cut granite meet in a line with a floor of grey stone. The yawning mouth of a cavern stretches from one side of the battlements to the other, daylight streaming in for several meters. The outlines of a trapdoor and its handles are visible on the wood.
Right in the middle, there’s an incongruous circle of plain white neither-wood-nor-stone, halves of which sit on either side of the line.
Area Notes:
* "The point at which everything meets". Where the True Heart lives. Open and exposed, accessible to all divers regardless of their relationship to him. Merging the constructed (the Fort) and the innate (the Cave), with a view of the ideal (the Outer World).
* The view from where the True Heart sits is a big "hope" he looks forward to (literally), and is where the Super-ego normally roams-- an ideal place beyond Sabra, wide and open, the sun and true sky and freedom. The sky and weather overhead reflects overall emotional state of the heart: sunny, cloudy, rainstorms, etc. The area of sky over the Hub itself remains clear to the very last, and its clouding over would mean a point of complete and utter despair. :')
* Sky hasn't been completely clear in a long, long time.
* Trapdoor in the wood leads to the interior of the Fort, cave mouth to the cave.
* Looking down over the edge of the battlements, it's a pretty far drop to the grass below. (Meant to be impossible to get down from, but if you could fly/were a ninja going down would get you to the Outer World.)
* The real "Hub" is the white disk itself. Metallic and cool to the touch and seemingly seamless; in the dead center of it is a small square panel about half a meter by half, the outline invisible to the eye but not to the touch. There's a small black strip at the middle of one edge, but with the True Heart's default initial location, it's not immediately visible. (Touch necessary to trigger access to the White Room.)
True Heart:
A tiny Claude, looking about eight-nine years old, sits in the centre of this, facing the battlements and the view beyond. Other than a little headband of interwoven purple and red, he’s clad only in a black tank top and white shorts. In front of him, strewn all over the white floor, are blocks of all shapes and sizes; some made of plain unpainted wood, others of assorted colors, some with scrawled writing in marker, others with carved symbols and pictures...
His hands continually fiddle with them, fitting them together, interlocking joints, putting some aside, adding others on.
A small cardboard box sits beside him with a jumble of stuff in it.
Examine box: Little bottles of paint, paintbrushes, various markers, wood carving tools... uniform blocks of wood, unshaped.
Examine tiny more closely: A thin cable snakes from a tiny socket on the back of his neck down to a tiny hole in the floor behind him, barely wider than the cable’s breadth.
Playing Notes:
* Claude at his most honest and simple self. The equivalent of his "soul".
* recognizes everyone, generally open, warmest reactions to those who are a part of his supporting "bonds" (those in a mutual relationship of support with him).
* Current state: “I’m not alone. I have a place. People are there for me. People are there who need me.” If he didn't have the "bonds" he had at the present time, it would be a sad and scared and lonely tiny sitting there instead 8|a but he's actually in a decent place at present, so he can be cheerful and strong and brave, because he has a lot to hold things together with.
* making a number of different possible shapes with the blocks, key emphasis is on the interlocking pieces representing those "bonds" - colors, writing, symbols individual to each person. Possible conformations:
a) a sword, a gun - “strength” - the bond pieces are mostly internal, hidden by external pieces
b) a spaceship, a door - “hope” - more a jumbled combination
c) a house - "belonging/family" - only one piece for himself, the rest composed of others
* Paint and surfaces of the blocks can be worn, chipped, fresh, etc., feel warm or cold in the hand, depending on the state of the bonds they represent.
* Unpainted and unmarked blocks represent "self". They can be joined together but whatever is built purely out of them is much less sturdy/easily falls apart.
* Aware on an innate level of everything that goes on in other parts of the heart. Gets visited by other aspects of the heart who pick up the things he makes, integrating them into their work/selves. Likewise they sometimes give him more materials to work with, which go into the cardboard box beside him. Divers can mess around with the blocks and paints etc., and giving them to him or even including them in the making of specific shapes (or teaching him new ones) would have had a moderate to large effect.
* Each type of shape is made over and over again as needed, and each block can be reproduced.
* Will warn people about what's in the cave behind, but not necessarily stop people from going in-- in the case of the Queentouch problem, especially if the person going in is someone associated with "strength", True Heart'll let them go in because he really does want someone--anyone-- to get rid of the thing that isn't meant to be there, because he can't do it by himself, and there is a really deep-seated feeling of DO NOT WANT that goes with it.
* Will not walk off the disc on his own volition. Vaguely aware of the cable attached to him - "it's always been there." The thought of disconnecting it hasn't occurred to him.
* Hasn't actually ever left the disc. If other parts of the heart take terrible beatings or go through major shifts, he himself doesn't really change dramatically. If the queen influence had spread to every part of the heart there'd still be a bounds around that disc that would remain clear... as long as he was still connected to it.
Postgame Notes:
In general anyone who sat down with the True Heart and/or talked to him on more than just an asking-where-things-are level gained slight boosts in affection towards them + self-affirmation of his value to them 8|a So applies to Rabi, Syaoran, June and Kururu. Trixie got a bit of unsure since he associates her with the kind of impulsive behaviour that might end up doing weird things to his stuff 8< and she didn't push any further so neutral effect outcome.
Rabi hugged the Heart when the Heart reached out to him, and also spent some time just talking to Heart and letting the Heart talk to him, giving a boost to Claude's inner assurance that their bond still goes both ways. :( brooooo
June praised and reinforced the idea of him being 'brave' and 'strong', so he'll work that bit harder to be those things.
Kururu...
- erased any remaining doubts or qualms he had about her feelings for him at True Heart's core
- owns him forever now
- may have become the strongest "bond" of any single one now, even taking differing categories into account
'-'
MAN THIS TRANSITIONED PRETTY WELL INTO MIRRORHEARTINGS AND THE POSTGAME SHENANIGANS OF THOSE
B. The White Room
Area:
...a plain white room with a small projector in the centre, a green translucent sphere spinning slowly above it. The hologram is incomplete in places, sizable chunks missing from the surface. In front of this stands a computer terminal with a keyboard and screen.
Other than that, there’s nothing seemingly remarkable about the room, though the lights flicker once in a while.
Area Notes:
- equivalent of a Developer's Room in games :') the space the mystery cable is connected to, and the origin of the base AI programming that made him.
- Hologram would be whole if he had 100% of his memories and was still entirely an entity of the Eternal Sphere/had never left it.
- The rest of the heart is as real and natural now as any other person's, but at Day 0 all that pretty much existed was the White Room and the True Heart. Everything else has grown from there, particularly in the absence of a connection to the main server.
- The importance of the room has conversely reduced, and things are powering down. Disconnecting the cable Hub-side at this point might not have as drastic an effect as it would've in the past.
- Accessing the computer would've brought up lines of data with blatant hints to Claude's TRUE NATURE, the current state of things (level of memory recovery, warnings about a corruption present (the Queentouch), etc), as well as options to tweak some of the settings. Like his Talent parameters.
- Yes it would have been possible to try fixing his abysmal Sense of Taste, possibly enabling him to be no longer an Enemy of Food. '-'
- Any hacking into the comp would have unlocked extra options to tweak even more fundamental parameters (Relationship levels, memories, orientations...) though the actual impact on the rest of the heart may not be flat-out irreversible/inevitable, or even overly dramatic, since it has a reasonable amount of its own foundations by now.
Postgame Notes:
Room wasn't explored at all, or the connection to it tampered with :( I WAS SAD. Basically at this point it is a mechanism still in place that still serves to influence his 'character' a certain way; part of the reason why he's nevergone Hydra-like gone too far off a particular path, as it were. It's possible that to be a Good Guy is written into the essential programming :);;
----
ID - The Nameless
keywords: raw instinct, innate, survival, base desires, black and red
Domain: The Cave/The Inner World
A. The Inward Path
Area:
You head into the underground. But instead of what should be shadows and dim torchlight, the ceiling seems perforated with small, deep holes through the stone, letting the daylight in. You can hear the faint whirring sounds of what might be power tools in use.
Thin tendrils of glowing red wind their way over the surface of the stone, all over the walls, not densely; though they slowly get more and more so the further you go in.
There are stretches of stone that have no holes at all, and it's by one of these that you see a couple of bareheaded Claudes in ragged grey shirts and pants, hacking and drilling at the rock with strange metal tools... careful to avoid touching any of the red. Both of them look pretty exhausted, but they're slogging at the work with gritted teeth.
Area Notes:
- Side doors present here lead to a couple of sub-rooms, holding Fears, subconscious memories, sources of rage, objects of desire etc. Not fully written out.
- the holes letting daylight in and the constant work to keep them open (they close from time to time) reflect the attempts to remember that a world beyond murdercave is out there. The fewer holes the more Claude feels in his gut that there's no getting out, and vice versa.
- Possible to help create more holes/fill them up, with predictable effect.
- currently the Queentouch permeates everything. Touching the tendrils triggers a surge of Queen influence in the person making contact, though short-lived.
- the two secondaries at work are Persistence and Stubbornness, and they've been hard at work here and other parts of the heart for a long time. Realized belatedly that 'bareheaded' implies 'bald', which wasn't what I meant. They're just without headbands '-' Depending on who comes by, they'll either warn them about what’s further inside or encourage them to help the heart deal with it.
Postgame Notes:
Not much, since Syaoran pretty much coasted through this area. The red tendrils are gone now that the Queentouch was shanked at its source.
B. The Cell
Area:
Nameless: You think this can hold me? I’ll break out the moment your back’s turned. Just watch me.
Self-Control: Shut up. Shut up.
Nameless: You can’t hold me back. And let’s face it, you need me.
...
The tunnel widens into a dead end room of cave stone. A single fist-sized hole in the far wall is the only source of daylight; otherwise, a few torches mounted on the walls provide dim levels of light.
The Claude kneeling on the floor (black pants, a black strip of cloth around his head, both in tatters) has body and arms bound with whole lot of heavy chain, the ends of which lead back to a metal ring on the far wall. Thick tendrils of glowing red snake around his bare arms and chest, covering the existing tattoos with their own unnatural light, coiling around his neck and up his face, spreading down from his feet into the floor, and towards you and the rest of the tunnel behind you. Thick cords of the same red trails from his legs into a square grating at one corner of the floor.
Sitting slumped against the wall beside you, out of reach of that Claude, is another one (bareheaded), white shirt stained with blood in varying degrees of freshness. He has a familiar jian clutched in his hands, and tendrils of the red are also wound round his feet and arms-- though whereas they glow on the other, on him it just looks like they've been carved on his skin with a knife.
Area Notes:
- the darkest part (lolo) of the heart, and at the same time one of the most integral. Where instinct and the basest desires operate from.
- centre of the infestation, which strengthens all the aspects from this domain while crippling those from others (hence the wound-like appearance on the white Claude (Self-Control) and the Hero, versus on the Nameless)
- The chains are not a normal part of this area, but have been put in place since the infestation began.
- the core of the influence is past the grating in an Abyss, and is actually easy to destroy once the connection with the Nameless is severed (as it is works as an amplifier, mostly)
- difficult to approach without touching any of the red at all.
Playing Notes:
The Nameless
- the ID 8U
- ALL THE FIRST INSTINCT FEELINGS ALL THE WAY- fears, rages, lusts, selfish, afraid of being alone, wanting all the love, wanting to avoid pain...
- instincts changeable and conflicting, clashing, sometimes flipping from one to another in an instant.
- because of fear, reacts with fight/flight instantly to things.
- potential for forced conversion to werewolf form thanks to Queentouch - yellow eyes. Werewolf embodies a point at which base instinct consumes him entirely, aggravated by external influences.
- under normal circumstances unbound, but under observation (by Self-Control), and is actually allowed free rein to walk other parts of the heart. In particular essential for times of physical danger/combat, etc. Not normally treated as an outcast or an outright danger.
- Hasn't been allowed near the True Heart (or anywhere out of the cell) since Queen, but his/her influence still extends via the red tendrils to other parts of the heart.
- can't actually be killed permanently. Hard to kill at all by conventional means, though it's possible to injure him.
- attempts to sever the connection will cause the Queen core to trigger wolf mode. BATTLEEE etc. Depending on the other person, may or may not hold back more vicious forms of attack.
- half-crazed from the conflicting instincts of DO NOT WANT and ~let it take over~ associated with the Queentouch.
Self-Control
- a secondary aspect of the Hero's domain (white)
- has Syaoran's weapon since there's a strong association in this heart of Syaoran being the epitome of it.
- taken severe abuse over time from keeping the Nameless under control in his Queen'd state, has the capacity to regenerate but suffering from fatigue/the wounds from the Queen's influence itself can't heal, and cripple him further
- under normal circumstances the interaction between him and the Nameless is more a matter of him holding the other back/socking him with a fist and subsequent brawling, but their conflicts have taken a more vicious turn since Queen
- meant to be restrained but even he has moments now where he loses it
Postgame Notes:
Biggest impact is that the Queen influence is GOOOOONE \o/ thanks to Syaoran. No more weird blood-triggered cravings or lashing out at people on a hair trigger :( and Self-Control can finally make a recovery. Syaoran shanked the Nameless in one eye, which... basically means Claude now has half-blind instincts 8|a Literally and figuratively. So those kinds of reactions may be quicker than they used to be (during pre-Queen levels), but not as... based on full observation....
Working together with the Hero enhanced Claude's already-strong view of Syaoran as someone who can be depended on/fought side-by-side with, as well as someone who can help restrain his impulses. Also general brofeelings boosting liek whoah for finally taking care of the badtouch infestation '-'
As a note, if anyone other than one of Claude's closest relationships had been the one to try taking down the Nameless, the battle would've been more deadly with immediate attempts to try and rip out their neck or other soft bits 8|a;;; BUT because it was Syaoran, there was enough of that conflicting instinct to not-harm to hold him back from otherwise chomping down, etc.
----
Ego - The Blank
Keywords: memories, experiences, balance, realist, pragmatism, grey
Domain: The Fort/The Constructed World
A. The Dorms/Home
Area:
...it's a lot like the interior of Cepheus dorms, save that it's a lot bigger and broader and actually furnished than you might remember it being. Something smells super delicious coming from the kitchen, and there are a crapload of bookshelves around. Two doors lead out, one across the room in the middle of the bookshelves, the other to your right, where the workroom usually is.
There's Kon lounging in a chair at one side smoking a pipe, Red draping an arm over Syaoran's shoulders as the noodle reads a book near the bookshelves. Allen at the table wolfing down what looks like his sixth plate of food, Yayoi sitting across him and eying him over the rim of her cup.
Area Notes:
- spot-written during the game '-';;; so actually didn't end up writing in as much as I later wanted to. Meant to be mainly Cephdorms with slight Earth/Expel influences. Basically the centre of feelings of current belonging and family, the relationships that give him that feeling, etc. The present home.
- Populated by his Sabra family, there are items around that hint at people from home (Iria's jacket in the kitchen, Ronixis's hat, photographs, etc.), but there are no representations of them since they only so far exist in his reality as memories 8|a so it's like "they should be part of Home, and yet".
- the Blank usually hangs out here when he's not compelled to check out other parts of the Fort.
- bookshelves hold memories, organized roughly according to associated feelings about them: they're mixed up all around but he knows where to look for most of them. Reading them replays flashes of each memory. Sabra memories are much more prominently placed.
- main colors are blue (technical things), green (neutral things), yellow (happy things), light red (embarrassing things). The black (sad things) and dark red (angry things) are all placed to one side and deliberately not revisited often.
- doors to Sabra and the Workroom are visible, the bookshelf with the black and red memories conceals a third door behind it that leads to a room that is part of the Cave.
Postgame Notes:
Not much! Claude may find himself randomly thinking about the memories Red flipped through over the next couple of days, but that's about it.
One of the rooms I really wish I'd prepped more for to make more interesting, it was really rushed and the flavortext wasn't really as detailed as it could've been. A lot of the memories Red flipped through were spotwritten hahahahah :') MISQUOTES YAY....
A-1. The Workroom
it's also a lot bigger than the one you remember AND it's hot in here. Apart from the SHELVES AND SHELVES AND BOXES of junk, there's an actual forge set up in one corner with a headband-less Claude in Ceph pants (and bandages round The Tatt as always) hammering away at something, while a kid Claude is putting stuff back on shelves and picking others up, turning them over and getting a good look at them.
Besides the doors you came in from, there's another door between two overflowing shelves on the right.
Examine door: Etched into the wood are innumerable gears large and small, tightly interconnected on one side, drifting into separation as it moves towards the other.
Area Notes:
- spot-written too. Basically the centre of creativity, curiosity, industry, stuff-making-related things 8|a
- kid Claude = Curiosity, while forging Claude = Craftsmanship.
- the gear door leads to the Epilogue. Locked, and the craftsman has the key. "The person who lives in there comes in once in a while to help out."
Postgame Notes:
I admit I made Curiosity a secondary just to troll the person who was in charge of borrowing a heartbit for Persona's keystonequest. SORRY RED 8D;;; Having had it removed, Claude's sense of curiousness about things will be dulled for a while, but it'll come back eventually.
B. Sabra La Tau/HQ
Area:
The door opens into a much larger room-- or possibly a cavern? Or a medieval hall? Or a sci-fi spacecraft's interior? The walls and ceiling are a strange blend of castle stone and wooden beams and cave rock and metal sheeting. There's scaffolding in a lot of places with people in various shades of Sabra and non-Sabra attire working on them, doing things to the walls. Others are moving about, some carrying construction materials and tools, others heading for one of the three doors at the far end of the hall.
What's further strange about the walls is twofold; you may notice small fist-size holes drilled deep into them, from which daylight streams through; and here and there, sparsely distributed, are faint red tendrils like vines snaking over the surface. They seem to lead back into the stone sections.
Area Notes:
- spot-written from base notes 8|;; the main area of the Fort. The site of Claude's generally functional coping self, the midway between the demands of instinct and idealism, and where the Blank works.
- the room itself and many of the people there are another representation of the way "bonds" build up and hold up Claude as a whole, whether from his present life or his memories (though the former predominates), on a more outward level than the True Heart's blocks. Work is constantly going on here, and if Claude was in a particularly low state the entire place would be heavily cracked and damaged.
- signs of the Queentouch are present here but connect more to the cave rock (parts of the Nameless's domain) that extends here.
- the holes here serve a similar purpose as in the Cave; in this case they're a product of a more conscious effort to look to something better. Only a certain level of perforation is maintained, though, since overdoing it would weaken structural integrity and possibly reduce the Fort's ability to hold up against everything that gets thrown against it 8|a
- doors lead to (a) Keepsakes, (b) Priorities room (unwritten), (c) a passageway to Regrets (unwritten)
The Blank:
There's a Claude in familiar Cepheus garb, wearing a purple strip of cloth around his head; belts ringed with pouches and tools, packsack on his back. Looks like he's arguing heatedly with another Claude in a simple white shirt and pants.
Playing Notes:
- The Ego. Realist, pragmatist. Midpoint between the Nameless and the Hero, basically mediating the demands of both domains and trying to come up with something they can all live with.
- Keeper of conscious memories and experiences, using them to build up (or tear down) different parts of the heart.
- Physically the most like the real-world Claude, since he is the closest to what Claude generally is on a conscious level. Speaks his mind more as a heart aspect. Sarcasm and humor among coping mechanisms.
- Accepts that sometimes terrible things have to be done because there just isn't any other viable option. Not that those terrible things are acceptable in themselves, or don't leave a mark.
- Shows signs of being affected by the Queentouch, though to a lesser extent than the Hero. Mostly hidden under his clothes.
- Gets intensely frustrated by the Hero but at the same time looks to him to help keep them having something to move towards. Works as much together with the Nameless as he does with the Hero, just in different situations.
- hard to say if he or the Hero is the most exhausted of the three at this point of time.
- the other Claude is a non-particular secondary of the Hero who is usually a messenger 8|a basically the equivalent of the niggling feeling Claude gets that is like "are you sure about this, really, really now"
Postgame Notes:
Nothing really :( Like the Dorms, one of the rooms I really wish I'd prepped more for to make more interesting.
C. Keepsakes
Area:
If asked about: “There’s an idiot living in that room.”
Wooden shelves line the walls of the room, an array of objects visible on them; some behind closed glass doors. Tools, knickknacks, weapons, sheets of paper; some are covered in dust, a few look broken. Others are immaculate.
A Feathers kneels at the center of the room, a simple round mirror in her hands, with a large crack down the middle. A young Claude-- this one about in his early teens-- sits beside, hands resting on his knees, watching her.
They both look up when you come in, Claude ____ (appears nervous or calm, depending on the person.)
Area Notes:
- a.k.a. Empathy's room. Contains all the things he holds on to and cares about (or tries to care about) with regards to other people's "burdens".
- each object specific to a person. Touching them triggers flashes of association and possibly a voice (either Claude's or the person's). Some preplanned pieces:
* an Exorcist’s hammer (Red)
--"Bookmen are meant to be watch history not be a part of it"--
* a battered jian sword and a card (magic circle on the back) face-down - written on it is ’Tsubasa’ (Syaoran: only Syaoran, Rabi, Kon and Yayoi can see the word, others will see a blank space)
--”because I didn’t take her hand, I couldn’t save her”--"an unforgivable sin"--
* hair ribbons tied around a healing materia (Yayoi)
“--try your best, you think you can’t do anything but you do so much---”
* Crown Clown-esque cape in Lacerta green, folded up (Allen)
“--never change, never gonna let this place change"--"you’re human, you’re Allen--"
* a simple wooden cross pendant and a wrench (Kururu)
“--if all you can do is be a part of the wings of others-- let me be part of yours--”
* a worn book (Librarian)
“--there are moments when loyalties are conflicted--"
* bloodstained gloves and a strange key (Chrysos)
* a golden clockwork bird (Spirea)
- Broken objects are those given up on, dusty ones are those that for one reason or another have just fallen to the back of his concerns.
- occasionally the Blank/other secondaries in the class of pragmatism/anger try to convince or coerce (or force) the destruction of some of the objects. "Even if it hurts others, why are you protecting it?" The Guardian always comes to his defense.
- Kururu manifestation and the cracked mirror - specific dilemma of Mirror. Has been the subject of conflict more than once in the past 8|;; The mirror is the only object not placed on a shelf but held by a manifestation since a good portion of why he cares as much as he does for it at present, and why it hasn't been thrown away yet, is closely tied to her.
- The specific set of shelves with the bird and the key can be moved, revealing another gear-marked door, this one unlocked.
Playing Notes:
- Empathy - a secondary under the Hero's domain who still has a good deal of influence on the Blank's. The embodiment of Claude's ability/will to understand and care about the needs/pains of others. Is younger than the average to reflect a certain amount of willful naivete involved/could be older but (is kept/keeps) himself that way.
- not as entirely convicted as he appears, to a degree trying to fulfill expectations.
- turns focus more on others and not himself/Claude.
- tired and despondent.
Postgame Notes:
NOTHING WAS BROKEN /o/ Breaking anything would've basically severely impaired Claude's ability to care about that issue/particular person's issues. Originally set this up intending to offer an opportunity to divers to deal with things like Mirror issue attachments and the like if they ICly wanted, but with the timing of the game itself thankfully nothing actually happened to impact that '-';;;
June entered the room, tried to talk Empathy into being more self-centered, and ended up getting jesused a bit instead whups :x;;; The conversation turned from him to her and it all went downhill from there. TO BE FAIR, June reminding him about how things happening to himself also would hurt others did have a slight effect on the scales of physical vs. emotional self-preservation. Getting to help June deal with her suddenexistence problems fever also generated a new keepsake for the room (a new concern), so from now on when Claude sees June he has the vague feeling that he should be a little more attentive to her 8(a
D. Unwritten Rooms:
* Priorities:
- a spaceship bridge-like setting with computers and the like but with papers stuck up on the monitors instead to list priorities
- basically things that need to be dealt with, big and small, somewhat messily arranged and often shifting
* Regrets:
- stupid regrets and serious regrets. Room has kind of two sections, either discrete or continuous shift
- a GIANT TARP drawn over the stupid stuff. Maybe includes a couple of books of the light red kind from the Dorms too.
- door connected to Fears (the Cave) at the serious regrets end
- second door connected to Keepsakes
- list of possible observable regrets goes here but too tired to type it out right now '-'
----
Super-ego - The Hero
Keywords: ideals, dreams, goals, hopes, white
Domain: Beyond/The World To Reach For
Area:
What can be seen from the top of the Hub. Didn't prewrite much else for this one...
Area Notes:
- ....since I had doubts that anyone would actually enter the area and I was running short of prep time, this ended up being the least planned area of all 8(;; But BASICALLY would've (a) been an Expel-like open world area not unlike parts of the Ideal World game, and (b) had a more hazy/dreamlike quality to it than the rest of the heart.
- Even though this area is associated with the Hero, he actually spends very little time being in it. It might be more accurate to say he is bonded to it more than anything else, and carries the influence of it around with him.
- Secondaries possible (white clothes): Hope, Conviction, Self-Control, Conscience, etc.
- ...OR a complete absence of them in the area itself.
The Hero:
...a Claude with a red headband, a ragged brown traveling cloak over his shoulders; underneath you catch glimpses of unfamiliar body armor and a uniform jacket, two belts looped around his waist-- on one side an empty sheath, the other a holstered gun--- and legs girded in practically medieval steel thighguards and greaves. The sword in his right gloved hand is so heavily chipped along the blade as to be practically serrated.
Above his collar, streaks of red coil round his neck and a little way up his jawline; tattoos, almost, if not for the shade of blood.
Playing Notes:
- the Super-Ego. Embodiment of conscious ideals. "The very best version of himself". But whether that is a "hero" or "someone in hero's clothing" is the question.
- combination of Expel/Earth imagery. The "Hero of Light" and the frontline explorer-soldier. Not because he wants to be those things for their own sake, or feels he is those things, but because to him they represent a better, stronger state of himself.
- determined, will do everything in his power to be a strength/support to others in need.
- "I've become a necessity. Without me, too much of this place would change. And he (the True Heart) doesn't want that."
- Equipment under heavy wear and tear, at times breaking down completely. Reflection of the decay of ideals and the devaluing of them by other people or other parts of the heart. They get renewed to an extent by the True Heart and sometimes (reluctantly) by the Blank.
- "There's nothing special about courage in a time of need."
- Conflicts with the Nameless, either directly or indirectly. Since the infection began those conflicts have become way more frequent.
- Weakened by the Queentouch, though not to the extent of his secondaries.
- Goes to different parts of the heart to help reinforce things.
Postgame Notes:
Not much effect on the area, though the clouds visible from the Hub receded due to overall improvement of the situation in the heart. The Hero himself received a partial strength repair from the True Heart's sword and got an additional boost from the core piece in it that Kururu edited 8|a
BASICALLY I wasn't going to have him very visible in general, only showing up if someone got into trouble in the heart. Which happened. So he got to ride to Syaoran's rescue. :U Which in a way gave a little reinforcement to the idea that he CAN do something, that it's worth something for him to exist, in a place where so often there's little he seems to be able to do that ends up good.
----
Alter Ego - Chrysos
Keywords: the other life
Domain: The Epilogue/Old Cepheus
Area:
...the scent of tenzen flowers carries in the breeze. The sky overhead is brilliant with the red and orange fire of a setting sun on one end of the horizon, though the air itself lacks any heat but the gentlest kind of warmth.... Strewn across the grassy landscape--- reminiscent of what of a long-ago country lay beyond its cities and towns--- are broken and rusting hulks of machinery, birds roosting on some of them and sounding their calls.
On a gentle slope, a small house of native architecture sits, the only other distinctive structure in view... and a man sitting on the wooden steps of its porch, a faded engineer's jacket draped over his shoulders, watching the sun. On his knees rest his hands-- the right girded in metal, the left in flesh.
Area Notes:
- a particular delineation from the rest of the heart. Part of, yet not quite the same.
- Doors in Keepsakes and Workroom lead inside the house. True Heart can also grant access to the outside.
- Interior of the house (unwritten): simple Ceph-style living quarters, strong resemblance to Chrys's old apartment, various objects from his past. Touching them calls up shades of those characters for a few moments which reenact memories.
Playing Notes:
- an incomplete 'heart'(?) unique from other heart aspects. Much, much older than he appears, but has his appearance formed by the predominance of his patchwork memories coming from that time of life before the cataclysm.
- conscious of where he 'is' and that his time is 'over', even if he can't remember with clarity how it ended. Accepting of this but still not completely at rest, knowing that "Sabra" is still going on, and conscious to an extent of what Claude knows.
- most times exists in a state of sleep; with a judge opening things up and all, woke up to a strange feeling in the air and went to wait for something to happen.
- no one else here besides him. Rarely leaves save to occasionally help out in the Workroom or talk to Empathy since there are parts of the heart that aren't comfortable having him directly around in them. Only people who come in at all are the Hero and the Blank. True Heart would like to see him but can't leave the Hub.
- referred to as "the other guy" by all other heart residents except True Heart, the Hero and Empathy.
Postgame Notes:
Kururu was the only one who made it here!
........and then stuff happened that I won't go into here
anyway OUTCOMES OF THAT STUFF include:
- acknowledgment and reaffirmation of Chrys's existence by someone other than Claude
- some mental burdens and regrets eased, putting both Chrys and Claude at greater ease and relief, though the latter indirectly and on a subconscious level
- further feelings of indebtedness to Kururu for fixing the gift he couldn't fix himself
- increased potential to be drawn on as another source of strength for the True Heart and possible influence bleedover in future
----
OVERALL
overall it was a great thing for me to run and I hope everyone had fun at least '^' IT WAS FUN FOR ME and despite all the hiccups on my part I felt it went pretty well??? I have little experience in running things but this one felt better than the other two explore-symbolic-y things I've run in the past.
Questions and comments welcomeeee if you made it down here know that I love you muchly and you are fab and sorry you had to read through this word splurge, this. This may be the last time I ever essay on anything Claude-related '-'
ETA: This post now doubling as a QUESTION MEME. Though answers may be in dot points rather than cohorent sentences
Heart was here! Disclaimer: This writeup contains spoilers for the later part of Star Ocean: Till the End of Time/Star Ocean 3.
Initial Blather
HOKAY, so after writing and scrapping ONE MILLION DRAFTS later, with some advice from others I started writing Claude's heart based on the bare bones of his characterization as I see it and play it in an amnesia murdercave, which really boils down to this excerpt from the first manga:
"I really don't know much about him at all; where he was born and where he came from. He won't talk about anything about himself. It's just that-- he bluffs in front of you and me, but... sometimes he seems more lonely than I am. Like a child who was suddenly pulled away from his home. All the things and people he knew completely vanished, leaving only him. He's desperately searching for it.... the only place for him to live in."
"He's strong, then. I can't stand being alone."
"Strong? No... Claude is weak. He might even have the most unstable heart of all of us. Though he's weak and lonely, he tries desperately to protect his friends... In protecting another, he's trying to survive."
And:
"The opposite of me, who tries to find salvation in fighting for myself... he tries to survive by protecting others. Something as cumbersome as friends (nakama) I can do without... But in his case he won't feel satisfied unless he helps. No matter how hurt he is, Claude will protect you. That's the kind of person he is."
- someone who, by himself, is actually weak and afraid and lonely, who needs a "place" to belong to.
- because of that, people who accept him and are bonded to him are what gives him strength and that sense of belonging.
- because of that, he will give his all to protect those "bonds", because they validate his existence. It's not a matter of survival on a physical level so much as of his "heart".
This is the core that hasn't changed regardless of memorywiping or his experiences in murdercave, and forms the basis of the True Heart. From the True Heart spirals a few main manifestations of the heart, and secondary manifestations thereafter, and areas based on those.
Another thing about him I wanted to give a shoutout too for heartgame-- though based on one super remote hinted in Star Ocean 2 itself, but a part of that overall universe's canon, because Squeenix--- is that "Claude C. Kenni" is a "simulated existence". An AI program in a gigantic universe simulator called the Eternal Sphere, intended partly for research and partly an MMORPG for a race of beings from a Higher Dimension. And while more reasonable to interpret the Eternal Sphere as the general "real" human universe shared with a multitude of other canons, and make Claude as flesh and blood 100% normal as the average human in Sabra, I decided it would be more fun to at least work some of that special snowflakeness in if I could '-'
THIS IS MY PRELIMINARY APOLOGY TO THE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY PLAYED HIS CANON AND SAW THIS AND WONDERED, CLAUDE, WHAT THE BANANA ARE YOU DOING. ALL THE APOLOGIES FOREVER
The third important thing I needed to include was the impact of the mild(?) case of Queen's influence that was still lurking in him, which had basically been affecting his natural impulses and adding some unnatural ones in (bloodlust, etc.)
IN THE END I didn't really manage to prewrite like half the rooms so a number of them (important ones) were done on the fly :') and a lot of stuff ended up not getting highlighted... oh well.
----
General Mechanics Notes
* Apart from the True Heart, and a unique one I'll get into later, there were three primary aspects, with a group of secondary ones affliated with each (some overlapping). In the end I ended up using Nishi's heartgame as a reference for this, so the three are looooosely based around the idea of the Id, Ego and Super-ego. EXTENT OF FAMILIARITY WITH THESE CONCEPTS is Wikipedia and memories of a playthrough of Xenogears over a decade ago, so emphasis on "loosely".
* The only aspects with a "name" are the True Heart + 3 + 1; only the True Heart considers himself "Claude". The secondary ones refer to themselves in terms of what they do (though for writeup purposes they have labels, too).
Id: The Nameless
Ego: The Blank
Super-ego: The Hero
* Secondary manifestations were all Claude forms-- non-Claude characters could be interacted with but weren't unique representations of any particular parts of his own character. Served more as projections of memories and visualizations of their role in his heartspace. Entirely possible to encounter more than one of the same character in different places.
* Under normal circumstances, it would be impossible to actually die in this heart unless you tried to suddenly suicide etc. It would be very difficult to severely injure yourself either. Anyone who got in over their heads would find the Hero or other manifestations bailing them out of it.
* Visual distinctions: Main aspects get unique clothing, most secondary ones nondescript shirt/pants in combinations of white/grey/black depending on their affliation. A few strongly associated with a particular physical setting might get more (e.g. Cepheus colors for the Craftsman)
Secondaries also don’t get headbands. Cheap symbolism, it's awwwwright.
* Physical traits of rooms drawn predominantly from Sabra, some from his memories of Expel, because those are the places he has the strongest emotional ties to/the ones connected to much of his present development. I know a space level was expected, and there were a couple of rooms that weren't explored that would've been based on that, but in general it didn't feel right to build the major rooms with it. Sorry dudes :(
----
Actual Pregame Notes Notes, And Some Stuff Written Along The Way
Preliminary HeartTechnobabble Flavortext
[ -loading- ]
No sound, no feeling, no scent, no sight-- there's a moment, a very brief moment, where you float in nothing. No one else to be seen but you.
Lights flicker at the edge of your vision, spots that stretch into streams of digits shooting endlessly past.
A blinding flash, then--
[ -start- ]
Notes: Purely atmospheric setup, etc etc.
Keywords: simple, core, distillation, all-colors
Domain: The Hub
A. The Hub
Area (image link):
...you find yourself with a smooth wooden floor under your feet, looking over worn stone battlements to a vista of rolling green countryside, dotted with forests and fields, stretching off into some hazy distance you can’t make out. The sky overhead is grey with clouds, while a breeze blows towards you, bringing with it the scent of leaves and water.
Behind you, it’s like the structure you’re standing on was built into the side of a cliff. Or maybe the cliff decided to bisect it; wood and cut granite meet in a line with a floor of grey stone. The yawning mouth of a cavern stretches from one side of the battlements to the other, daylight streaming in for several meters. The outlines of a trapdoor and its handles are visible on the wood.
Right in the middle, there’s an incongruous circle of plain white neither-wood-nor-stone, halves of which sit on either side of the line.
Area Notes:
* "The point at which everything meets". Where the True Heart lives. Open and exposed, accessible to all divers regardless of their relationship to him. Merging the constructed (the Fort) and the innate (the Cave), with a view of the ideal (the Outer World).
* The view from where the True Heart sits is a big "hope" he looks forward to (literally), and is where the Super-ego normally roams-- an ideal place beyond Sabra, wide and open, the sun and true sky and freedom. The sky and weather overhead reflects overall emotional state of the heart: sunny, cloudy, rainstorms, etc. The area of sky over the Hub itself remains clear to the very last, and its clouding over would mean a point of complete and utter despair. :')
* Sky hasn't been completely clear in a long, long time.
* Trapdoor in the wood leads to the interior of the Fort, cave mouth to the cave.
* Looking down over the edge of the battlements, it's a pretty far drop to the grass below. (Meant to be impossible to get down from, but if you could fly/were a ninja going down would get you to the Outer World.)
* The real "Hub" is the white disk itself. Metallic and cool to the touch and seemingly seamless; in the dead center of it is a small square panel about half a meter by half, the outline invisible to the eye but not to the touch. There's a small black strip at the middle of one edge, but with the True Heart's default initial location, it's not immediately visible. (Touch necessary to trigger access to the White Room.)
True Heart:
A tiny Claude, looking about eight-nine years old, sits in the centre of this, facing the battlements and the view beyond. Other than a little headband of interwoven purple and red, he’s clad only in a black tank top and white shorts. In front of him, strewn all over the white floor, are blocks of all shapes and sizes; some made of plain unpainted wood, others of assorted colors, some with scrawled writing in marker, others with carved symbols and pictures...
His hands continually fiddle with them, fitting them together, interlocking joints, putting some aside, adding others on.
A small cardboard box sits beside him with a jumble of stuff in it.
Examine box: Little bottles of paint, paintbrushes, various markers, wood carving tools... uniform blocks of wood, unshaped.
Examine tiny more closely: A thin cable snakes from a tiny socket on the back of his neck down to a tiny hole in the floor behind him, barely wider than the cable’s breadth.
Playing Notes:
* Claude at his most honest and simple self. The equivalent of his "soul".
* recognizes everyone, generally open, warmest reactions to those who are a part of his supporting "bonds" (those in a mutual relationship of support with him).
* Current state: “I’m not alone. I have a place. People are there for me. People are there who need me.” If he didn't have the "bonds" he had at the present time, it would be a sad and scared and lonely tiny sitting there instead 8|a but he's actually in a decent place at present, so he can be cheerful and strong and brave, because he has a lot to hold things together with.
* making a number of different possible shapes with the blocks, key emphasis is on the interlocking pieces representing those "bonds" - colors, writing, symbols individual to each person. Possible conformations:
a) a sword, a gun - “strength” - the bond pieces are mostly internal, hidden by external pieces
b) a spaceship, a door - “hope” - more a jumbled combination
c) a house - "belonging/family" - only one piece for himself, the rest composed of others
* Paint and surfaces of the blocks can be worn, chipped, fresh, etc., feel warm or cold in the hand, depending on the state of the bonds they represent.
* Unpainted and unmarked blocks represent "self". They can be joined together but whatever is built purely out of them is much less sturdy/easily falls apart.
* Aware on an innate level of everything that goes on in other parts of the heart. Gets visited by other aspects of the heart who pick up the things he makes, integrating them into their work/selves. Likewise they sometimes give him more materials to work with, which go into the cardboard box beside him. Divers can mess around with the blocks and paints etc., and giving them to him or even including them in the making of specific shapes (or teaching him new ones) would have had a moderate to large effect.
* Each type of shape is made over and over again as needed, and each block can be reproduced.
* Will warn people about what's in the cave behind, but not necessarily stop people from going in-- in the case of the Queentouch problem, especially if the person going in is someone associated with "strength", True Heart'll let them go in because he really does want someone--anyone-- to get rid of the thing that isn't meant to be there, because he can't do it by himself, and there is a really deep-seated feeling of DO NOT WANT that goes with it.
* Will not walk off the disc on his own volition. Vaguely aware of the cable attached to him - "it's always been there." The thought of disconnecting it hasn't occurred to him.
* Hasn't actually ever left the disc. If other parts of the heart take terrible beatings or go through major shifts, he himself doesn't really change dramatically. If the queen influence had spread to every part of the heart there'd still be a bounds around that disc that would remain clear... as long as he was still connected to it.
Postgame Notes:
In general anyone who sat down with the True Heart and/or talked to him on more than just an asking-where-things-are level gained slight boosts in affection towards them + self-affirmation of his value to them 8|a So applies to Rabi, Syaoran, June and Kururu. Trixie got a bit of unsure since he associates her with the kind of impulsive behaviour that might end up doing weird things to his stuff 8< and she didn't push any further so neutral effect outcome.
Rabi hugged the Heart when the Heart reached out to him, and also spent some time just talking to Heart and letting the Heart talk to him, giving a boost to Claude's inner assurance that their bond still goes both ways. :( brooooo
June praised and reinforced the idea of him being 'brave' and 'strong', so he'll work that bit harder to be those things.
Kururu...
- erased any remaining doubts or qualms he had about her feelings for him at True Heart's core
- owns him forever now
- may have become the strongest "bond" of any single one now, even taking differing categories into account
'-'
MAN THIS TRANSITIONED PRETTY WELL INTO MIRRORHEARTINGS AND THE POSTGAME SHENANIGANS OF THOSE
B. The White Room
Area:
...a plain white room with a small projector in the centre, a green translucent sphere spinning slowly above it. The hologram is incomplete in places, sizable chunks missing from the surface. In front of this stands a computer terminal with a keyboard and screen.
Other than that, there’s nothing seemingly remarkable about the room, though the lights flicker once in a while.
Area Notes:
- equivalent of a Developer's Room in games :') the space the mystery cable is connected to, and the origin of the base AI programming that made him.
- Hologram would be whole if he had 100% of his memories and was still entirely an entity of the Eternal Sphere/had never left it.
- The rest of the heart is as real and natural now as any other person's, but at Day 0 all that pretty much existed was the White Room and the True Heart. Everything else has grown from there, particularly in the absence of a connection to the main server.
- The importance of the room has conversely reduced, and things are powering down. Disconnecting the cable Hub-side at this point might not have as drastic an effect as it would've in the past.
- Accessing the computer would've brought up lines of data with blatant hints to Claude's TRUE NATURE, the current state of things (level of memory recovery, warnings about a corruption present (the Queentouch), etc), as well as options to tweak some of the settings. Like his Talent parameters.
- Yes it would have been possible to try fixing his abysmal Sense of Taste, possibly enabling him to be no longer an Enemy of Food. '-'
- Any hacking into the comp would have unlocked extra options to tweak even more fundamental parameters (Relationship levels, memories, orientations...) though the actual impact on the rest of the heart may not be flat-out irreversible/inevitable, or even overly dramatic, since it has a reasonable amount of its own foundations by now.
Postgame Notes:
Room wasn't explored at all, or the connection to it tampered with :( I WAS SAD. Basically at this point it is a mechanism still in place that still serves to influence his 'character' a certain way; part of the reason why he's never
----
keywords: raw instinct, innate, survival, base desires, black and red
Domain: The Cave/The Inner World
A. The Inward Path
Area:
You head into the underground. But instead of what should be shadows and dim torchlight, the ceiling seems perforated with small, deep holes through the stone, letting the daylight in. You can hear the faint whirring sounds of what might be power tools in use.
Thin tendrils of glowing red wind their way over the surface of the stone, all over the walls, not densely; though they slowly get more and more so the further you go in.
There are stretches of stone that have no holes at all, and it's by one of these that you see a couple of bareheaded Claudes in ragged grey shirts and pants, hacking and drilling at the rock with strange metal tools... careful to avoid touching any of the red. Both of them look pretty exhausted, but they're slogging at the work with gritted teeth.
Area Notes:
- Side doors present here lead to a couple of sub-rooms, holding Fears, subconscious memories, sources of rage, objects of desire etc. Not fully written out.
- the holes letting daylight in and the constant work to keep them open (they close from time to time) reflect the attempts to remember that a world beyond murdercave is out there. The fewer holes the more Claude feels in his gut that there's no getting out, and vice versa.
- Possible to help create more holes/fill them up, with predictable effect.
- currently the Queentouch permeates everything. Touching the tendrils triggers a surge of Queen influence in the person making contact, though short-lived.
- the two secondaries at work are Persistence and Stubbornness, and they've been hard at work here and other parts of the heart for a long time. Realized belatedly that 'bareheaded' implies 'bald', which wasn't what I meant. They're just without headbands '-' Depending on who comes by, they'll either warn them about what’s further inside or encourage them to help the heart deal with it.
Postgame Notes:
Not much, since Syaoran pretty much coasted through this area. The red tendrils are gone now that the Queentouch was shanked at its source.
B. The Cell
Area:
Nameless: You think this can hold me? I’ll break out the moment your back’s turned. Just watch me.
Self-Control: Shut up. Shut up.
Nameless: You can’t hold me back. And let’s face it, you need me.
...
The tunnel widens into a dead end room of cave stone. A single fist-sized hole in the far wall is the only source of daylight; otherwise, a few torches mounted on the walls provide dim levels of light.
The Claude kneeling on the floor (black pants, a black strip of cloth around his head, both in tatters) has body and arms bound with whole lot of heavy chain, the ends of which lead back to a metal ring on the far wall. Thick tendrils of glowing red snake around his bare arms and chest, covering the existing tattoos with their own unnatural light, coiling around his neck and up his face, spreading down from his feet into the floor, and towards you and the rest of the tunnel behind you. Thick cords of the same red trails from his legs into a square grating at one corner of the floor.
Sitting slumped against the wall beside you, out of reach of that Claude, is another one (bareheaded), white shirt stained with blood in varying degrees of freshness. He has a familiar jian clutched in his hands, and tendrils of the red are also wound round his feet and arms-- though whereas they glow on the other, on him it just looks like they've been carved on his skin with a knife.
Area Notes:
- the darkest part (lolo) of the heart, and at the same time one of the most integral. Where instinct and the basest desires operate from.
- centre of the infestation, which strengthens all the aspects from this domain while crippling those from others (hence the wound-like appearance on the white Claude (Self-Control) and the Hero, versus on the Nameless)
- The chains are not a normal part of this area, but have been put in place since the infestation began.
- the core of the influence is past the grating in an Abyss, and is actually easy to destroy once the connection with the Nameless is severed (as it is works as an amplifier, mostly)
- difficult to approach without touching any of the red at all.
Playing Notes:
The Nameless
- the ID 8U
- ALL THE FIRST INSTINCT FEELINGS ALL THE WAY- fears, rages, lusts, selfish, afraid of being alone, wanting all the love, wanting to avoid pain...
- instincts changeable and conflicting, clashing, sometimes flipping from one to another in an instant.
- because of fear, reacts with fight/flight instantly to things.
- potential for forced conversion to werewolf form thanks to Queentouch - yellow eyes. Werewolf embodies a point at which base instinct consumes him entirely, aggravated by external influences.
- under normal circumstances unbound, but under observation (by Self-Control), and is actually allowed free rein to walk other parts of the heart. In particular essential for times of physical danger/combat, etc. Not normally treated as an outcast or an outright danger.
- Hasn't been allowed near the True Heart (or anywhere out of the cell) since Queen, but his/her influence still extends via the red tendrils to other parts of the heart.
- can't actually be killed permanently. Hard to kill at all by conventional means, though it's possible to injure him.
- attempts to sever the connection will cause the Queen core to trigger wolf mode. BATTLEEE etc. Depending on the other person, may or may not hold back more vicious forms of attack.
- half-crazed from the conflicting instincts of DO NOT WANT and ~let it take over~ associated with the Queentouch.
Self-Control
- a secondary aspect of the Hero's domain (white)
- has Syaoran's weapon since there's a strong association in this heart of Syaoran being the epitome of it.
- taken severe abuse over time from keeping the Nameless under control in his Queen'd state, has the capacity to regenerate but suffering from fatigue/the wounds from the Queen's influence itself can't heal, and cripple him further
- under normal circumstances the interaction between him and the Nameless is more a matter of him holding the other back/socking him with a fist and subsequent brawling, but their conflicts have taken a more vicious turn since Queen
- meant to be restrained but even he has moments now where he loses it
Postgame Notes:
Biggest impact is that the Queen influence is GOOOOONE \o/ thanks to Syaoran. No more weird blood-triggered cravings or lashing out at people on a hair trigger :( and Self-Control can finally make a recovery. Syaoran shanked the Nameless in one eye, which... basically means Claude now has half-blind instincts 8|a Literally and figuratively. So those kinds of reactions may be quicker than they used to be (during pre-Queen levels), but not as... based on full observation....
Working together with the Hero enhanced Claude's already-strong view of Syaoran as someone who can be depended on/fought side-by-side with, as well as someone who can help restrain his impulses. Also general brofeelings boosting liek whoah for finally taking care of the badtouch infestation '-'
As a note, if anyone other than one of Claude's closest relationships had been the one to try taking down the Nameless, the battle would've been more deadly with immediate attempts to try and rip out their neck or other soft bits 8|a;;; BUT because it was Syaoran, there was enough of that conflicting instinct to not-harm to hold him back from otherwise chomping down, etc.
----
Keywords: memories, experiences, balance, realist, pragmatism, grey
Domain: The Fort/The Constructed World
A. The Dorms/Home
Area:
...it's a lot like the interior of Cepheus dorms, save that it's a lot bigger and broader and actually furnished than you might remember it being. Something smells super delicious coming from the kitchen, and there are a crapload of bookshelves around. Two doors lead out, one across the room in the middle of the bookshelves, the other to your right, where the workroom usually is.
There's Kon lounging in a chair at one side smoking a pipe, Red draping an arm over Syaoran's shoulders as the noodle reads a book near the bookshelves. Allen at the table wolfing down what looks like his sixth plate of food, Yayoi sitting across him and eying him over the rim of her cup.
Area Notes:
- spot-written during the game '-';;; so actually didn't end up writing in as much as I later wanted to. Meant to be mainly Cephdorms with slight Earth/Expel influences. Basically the centre of feelings of current belonging and family, the relationships that give him that feeling, etc. The present home.
- Populated by his Sabra family, there are items around that hint at people from home (Iria's jacket in the kitchen, Ronixis's hat, photographs, etc.), but there are no representations of them since they only so far exist in his reality as memories 8|a so it's like "they should be part of Home, and yet".
- the Blank usually hangs out here when he's not compelled to check out other parts of the Fort.
- bookshelves hold memories, organized roughly according to associated feelings about them: they're mixed up all around but he knows where to look for most of them. Reading them replays flashes of each memory. Sabra memories are much more prominently placed.
- main colors are blue (technical things), green (neutral things), yellow (happy things), light red (embarrassing things). The black (sad things) and dark red (angry things) are all placed to one side and deliberately not revisited often.
- doors to Sabra and the Workroom are visible, the bookshelf with the black and red memories conceals a third door behind it that leads to a room that is part of the Cave.
Postgame Notes:
Not much! Claude may find himself randomly thinking about the memories Red flipped through over the next couple of days, but that's about it.
One of the rooms I really wish I'd prepped more for to make more interesting, it was really rushed and the flavortext wasn't really as detailed as it could've been. A lot of the memories Red flipped through were spotwritten hahahahah :') MISQUOTES YAY....
A-1. The Workroom
it's also a lot bigger than the one you remember AND it's hot in here. Apart from the SHELVES AND SHELVES AND BOXES of junk, there's an actual forge set up in one corner with a headband-less Claude in Ceph pants (and bandages round The Tatt as always) hammering away at something, while a kid Claude is putting stuff back on shelves and picking others up, turning them over and getting a good look at them.
Besides the doors you came in from, there's another door between two overflowing shelves on the right.
Examine door: Etched into the wood are innumerable gears large and small, tightly interconnected on one side, drifting into separation as it moves towards the other.
Area Notes:
- spot-written too. Basically the centre of creativity, curiosity, industry, stuff-making-related things 8|a
- kid Claude = Curiosity, while forging Claude = Craftsmanship.
- the gear door leads to the Epilogue. Locked, and the craftsman has the key. "The person who lives in there comes in once in a while to help out."
Postgame Notes:
I admit I made Curiosity a secondary just to troll the person who was in charge of borrowing a heartbit for Persona's keystonequest. SORRY RED 8D;;; Having had it removed, Claude's sense of curiousness about things will be dulled for a while, but it'll come back eventually.
B. Sabra La Tau/HQ
Area:
The door opens into a much larger room-- or possibly a cavern? Or a medieval hall? Or a sci-fi spacecraft's interior? The walls and ceiling are a strange blend of castle stone and wooden beams and cave rock and metal sheeting. There's scaffolding in a lot of places with people in various shades of Sabra and non-Sabra attire working on them, doing things to the walls. Others are moving about, some carrying construction materials and tools, others heading for one of the three doors at the far end of the hall.
What's further strange about the walls is twofold; you may notice small fist-size holes drilled deep into them, from which daylight streams through; and here and there, sparsely distributed, are faint red tendrils like vines snaking over the surface. They seem to lead back into the stone sections.
Area Notes:
- spot-written from base notes 8|;; the main area of the Fort. The site of Claude's generally functional coping self, the midway between the demands of instinct and idealism, and where the Blank works.
- the room itself and many of the people there are another representation of the way "bonds" build up and hold up Claude as a whole, whether from his present life or his memories (though the former predominates), on a more outward level than the True Heart's blocks. Work is constantly going on here, and if Claude was in a particularly low state the entire place would be heavily cracked and damaged.
- signs of the Queentouch are present here but connect more to the cave rock (parts of the Nameless's domain) that extends here.
- the holes here serve a similar purpose as in the Cave; in this case they're a product of a more conscious effort to look to something better. Only a certain level of perforation is maintained, though, since overdoing it would weaken structural integrity and possibly reduce the Fort's ability to hold up against everything that gets thrown against it 8|a
- doors lead to (a) Keepsakes, (b) Priorities room (unwritten), (c) a passageway to Regrets (unwritten)
The Blank:
There's a Claude in familiar Cepheus garb, wearing a purple strip of cloth around his head; belts ringed with pouches and tools, packsack on his back. Looks like he's arguing heatedly with another Claude in a simple white shirt and pants.
Playing Notes:
- The Ego. Realist, pragmatist. Midpoint between the Nameless and the Hero, basically mediating the demands of both domains and trying to come up with something they can all live with.
- Keeper of conscious memories and experiences, using them to build up (or tear down) different parts of the heart.
- Physically the most like the real-world Claude, since he is the closest to what Claude generally is on a conscious level. Speaks his mind more as a heart aspect. Sarcasm and humor among coping mechanisms.
- Accepts that sometimes terrible things have to be done because there just isn't any other viable option. Not that those terrible things are acceptable in themselves, or don't leave a mark.
- Shows signs of being affected by the Queentouch, though to a lesser extent than the Hero. Mostly hidden under his clothes.
- Gets intensely frustrated by the Hero but at the same time looks to him to help keep them having something to move towards. Works as much together with the Nameless as he does with the Hero, just in different situations.
- hard to say if he or the Hero is the most exhausted of the three at this point of time.
- the other Claude is a non-particular secondary of the Hero who is usually a messenger 8|a basically the equivalent of the niggling feeling Claude gets that is like "are you sure about this, really, really now"
Postgame Notes:
Nothing really :( Like the Dorms, one of the rooms I really wish I'd prepped more for to make more interesting.
C. Keepsakes
Area:
If asked about: “There’s an idiot living in that room.”
Wooden shelves line the walls of the room, an array of objects visible on them; some behind closed glass doors. Tools, knickknacks, weapons, sheets of paper; some are covered in dust, a few look broken. Others are immaculate.
A Feathers kneels at the center of the room, a simple round mirror in her hands, with a large crack down the middle. A young Claude-- this one about in his early teens-- sits beside, hands resting on his knees, watching her.
They both look up when you come in, Claude ____ (appears nervous or calm, depending on the person.)
Area Notes:
- a.k.a. Empathy's room. Contains all the things he holds on to and cares about (or tries to care about) with regards to other people's "burdens".
- each object specific to a person. Touching them triggers flashes of association and possibly a voice (either Claude's or the person's). Some preplanned pieces:
* an Exorcist’s hammer (Red)
--"Bookmen are meant to be watch history not be a part of it"--
* a battered jian sword and a card (magic circle on the back) face-down - written on it is ’Tsubasa’ (Syaoran: only Syaoran, Rabi, Kon and Yayoi can see the word, others will see a blank space)
--”because I didn’t take her hand, I couldn’t save her”--"an unforgivable sin"--
* hair ribbons tied around a healing materia (Yayoi)
“--try your best, you think you can’t do anything but you do so much---”
* Crown Clown-esque cape in Lacerta green, folded up (Allen)
“--never change, never gonna let this place change"--"you’re human, you’re Allen--"
* a simple wooden cross pendant and a wrench (Kururu)
“--if all you can do is be a part of the wings of others-- let me be part of yours--”
* a worn book (Librarian)
“--there are moments when loyalties are conflicted--"
* bloodstained gloves and a strange key (Chrysos)
* a golden clockwork bird (Spirea)
- Broken objects are those given up on, dusty ones are those that for one reason or another have just fallen to the back of his concerns.
- occasionally the Blank/other secondaries in the class of pragmatism/anger try to convince or coerce (or force) the destruction of some of the objects. "Even if it hurts others, why are you protecting it?" The Guardian always comes to his defense.
- Kururu manifestation and the cracked mirror - specific dilemma of Mirror. Has been the subject of conflict more than once in the past 8|;; The mirror is the only object not placed on a shelf but held by a manifestation since a good portion of why he cares as much as he does for it at present, and why it hasn't been thrown away yet, is closely tied to her.
- The specific set of shelves with the bird and the key can be moved, revealing another gear-marked door, this one unlocked.
Playing Notes:
- Empathy - a secondary under the Hero's domain who still has a good deal of influence on the Blank's. The embodiment of Claude's ability/will to understand and care about the needs/pains of others. Is younger than the average to reflect a certain amount of willful naivete involved/could be older but (is kept/keeps) himself that way.
- not as entirely convicted as he appears, to a degree trying to fulfill expectations.
- turns focus more on others and not himself/Claude.
- tired and despondent.
Postgame Notes:
NOTHING WAS BROKEN /o/ Breaking anything would've basically severely impaired Claude's ability to care about that issue/particular person's issues. Originally set this up intending to offer an opportunity to divers to deal with things like Mirror issue attachments and the like if they ICly wanted, but with the timing of the game itself thankfully nothing actually happened to impact that '-';;;
June entered the room, tried to talk Empathy into being more self-centered, and ended up getting jesused a bit instead whups :x;;; The conversation turned from him to her and it all went downhill from there. TO BE FAIR, June reminding him about how things happening to himself also would hurt others did have a slight effect on the scales of physical vs. emotional self-preservation. Getting to help June deal with her sudden
D. Unwritten Rooms:
* Priorities:
- a spaceship bridge-like setting with computers and the like but with papers stuck up on the monitors instead to list priorities
- basically things that need to be dealt with, big and small, somewhat messily arranged and often shifting
* Regrets:
- stupid regrets and serious regrets. Room has kind of two sections, either discrete or continuous shift
- a GIANT TARP drawn over the stupid stuff. Maybe includes a couple of books of the light red kind from the Dorms too.
- door connected to Fears (the Cave) at the serious regrets end
- second door connected to Keepsakes
- list of possible observable regrets goes here but too tired to type it out right now '-'
----
Keywords: ideals, dreams, goals, hopes, white
Domain: Beyond/The World To Reach For
Area:
What can be seen from the top of the Hub. Didn't prewrite much else for this one...
Area Notes:
- ....since I had doubts that anyone would actually enter the area and I was running short of prep time, this ended up being the least planned area of all 8(;; But BASICALLY would've (a) been an Expel-like open world area not unlike parts of the Ideal World game, and (b) had a more hazy/dreamlike quality to it than the rest of the heart.
- Even though this area is associated with the Hero, he actually spends very little time being in it. It might be more accurate to say he is bonded to it more than anything else, and carries the influence of it around with him.
- Secondaries possible (white clothes): Hope, Conviction, Self-Control, Conscience, etc.
- ...OR a complete absence of them in the area itself.
The Hero:
...a Claude with a red headband, a ragged brown traveling cloak over his shoulders; underneath you catch glimpses of unfamiliar body armor and a uniform jacket, two belts looped around his waist-- on one side an empty sheath, the other a holstered gun--- and legs girded in practically medieval steel thighguards and greaves. The sword in his right gloved hand is so heavily chipped along the blade as to be practically serrated.
Above his collar, streaks of red coil round his neck and a little way up his jawline; tattoos, almost, if not for the shade of blood.
Playing Notes:
- the Super-Ego. Embodiment of conscious ideals. "The very best version of himself". But whether that is a "hero" or "someone in hero's clothing" is the question.
- combination of Expel/Earth imagery. The "Hero of Light" and the frontline explorer-soldier. Not because he wants to be those things for their own sake, or feels he is those things, but because to him they represent a better, stronger state of himself.
- determined, will do everything in his power to be a strength/support to others in need.
- "I've become a necessity. Without me, too much of this place would change. And he (the True Heart) doesn't want that."
- Equipment under heavy wear and tear, at times breaking down completely. Reflection of the decay of ideals and the devaluing of them by other people or other parts of the heart. They get renewed to an extent by the True Heart and sometimes (reluctantly) by the Blank.
- "There's nothing special about courage in a time of need."
- Conflicts with the Nameless, either directly or indirectly. Since the infection began those conflicts have become way more frequent.
- Weakened by the Queentouch, though not to the extent of his secondaries.
- Goes to different parts of the heart to help reinforce things.
Postgame Notes:
Not much effect on the area, though the clouds visible from the Hub receded due to overall improvement of the situation in the heart. The Hero himself received a partial strength repair from the True Heart's sword and got an additional boost from the core piece in it that Kururu edited 8|a
BASICALLY I wasn't going to have him very visible in general, only showing up if someone got into trouble in the heart. Which happened. So he got to ride to Syaoran's rescue. :U Which in a way gave a little reinforcement to the idea that he CAN do something, that it's worth something for him to exist, in a place where so often there's little he seems to be able to do that ends up good.
----
Keywords: the other life
Domain: The Epilogue/Old Cepheus
Area:
...the scent of tenzen flowers carries in the breeze. The sky overhead is brilliant with the red and orange fire of a setting sun on one end of the horizon, though the air itself lacks any heat but the gentlest kind of warmth.... Strewn across the grassy landscape--- reminiscent of what of a long-ago country lay beyond its cities and towns--- are broken and rusting hulks of machinery, birds roosting on some of them and sounding their calls.
On a gentle slope, a small house of native architecture sits, the only other distinctive structure in view... and a man sitting on the wooden steps of its porch, a faded engineer's jacket draped over his shoulders, watching the sun. On his knees rest his hands-- the right girded in metal, the left in flesh.
Area Notes:
- a particular delineation from the rest of the heart. Part of, yet not quite the same.
- Doors in Keepsakes and Workroom lead inside the house. True Heart can also grant access to the outside.
- Interior of the house (unwritten): simple Ceph-style living quarters, strong resemblance to Chrys's old apartment, various objects from his past. Touching them calls up shades of those characters for a few moments which reenact memories.
Playing Notes:
- an incomplete 'heart'(?) unique from other heart aspects. Much, much older than he appears, but has his appearance formed by the predominance of his patchwork memories coming from that time of life before the cataclysm.
- conscious of where he 'is' and that his time is 'over', even if he can't remember with clarity how it ended. Accepting of this but still not completely at rest, knowing that "Sabra" is still going on, and conscious to an extent of what Claude knows.
- most times exists in a state of sleep; with a judge opening things up and all, woke up to a strange feeling in the air and went to wait for something to happen.
- no one else here besides him. Rarely leaves save to occasionally help out in the Workroom or talk to Empathy since there are parts of the heart that aren't comfortable having him directly around in them. Only people who come in at all are the Hero and the Blank. True Heart would like to see him but can't leave the Hub.
- referred to as "the other guy" by all other heart residents except True Heart, the Hero and Empathy.
Postgame Notes:
Kururu was the only one who made it here!
........and then stuff happened that I won't go into here
anyway OUTCOMES OF THAT STUFF include:
- acknowledgment and reaffirmation of Chrys's existence by someone other than Claude
- some mental burdens and regrets eased, putting both Chrys and Claude at greater ease and relief, though the latter indirectly and on a subconscious level
- further feelings of indebtedness to Kururu for fixing the gift he couldn't fix himself
- increased potential to be drawn on as another source of strength for the True Heart and possible influence bleedover in future
----
OVERALL
overall it was a great thing for me to run and I hope everyone had fun at least '^' IT WAS FUN FOR ME and despite all the hiccups on my part I felt it went pretty well??? I have little experience in running things but this one felt better than the other two explore-symbolic-y things I've run in the past.
Questions and comments welcomeeee if you made it down here know that I love you muchly and you are fab and sorry you had to read through this word splurge, this. This may be the last time I ever essay on anything Claude-related '-'
ETA: This post now doubling as a QUESTION MEME. Though answers may be in dot points rather than cohorent sentences
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 04:55 am (UTC)NO YOU'RE NOT
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 05:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 05:14 am (UTC). . . anyway, this being a question meme and all, tell me about Claude's tattoos.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 06:17 am (UTC).....right, tatts... let's go over the full list...
1) The Magical Double Rainbow Centaur King Tatt currently taking up his lower back
Little did Gold realize when he volunteered to take this one for the team that it would haunt him forever. There will probably never ever be a point in his life when this will not be mortifying to show anyone (sober). Kept under literal wraps at all times except when bathing. DEEP DOWN THOUGH there's a part of him that would be loath to lose it since it's a reminder of Dusky and Red and Silver 1 and himself on that first Day of Days '-'
2) the "earth" kanji on his right shoulder, facing outward on the arm
Proud of this one and treasures it :|b since it not only came from Syaoran himself, but it's like what Red got from him too, and to Claude it feels like a physical acknowledgment of being part of Syaoran's "family", a brother on the same level as Red in a sense (and at the time before he'd gotten it IIRC he'd been struggling with some insecurity about not being able to bond as closely to noodle as noodle did to Red 8<a). "Earth" to him also has the double meaning of his own home planet.
Touches it from time to time when he's talking/thinking, sometimes not realizing it.
3) Librarian's mark (the open book) on the back of his left hand
Patron mark! The left hand is also his bracered hand. Judge/Sabra-related stuff tends to mark his left side, while those related to his important people mark his right (also his sword hand). This separation consciously intended to some level.
4) the combined sword-and-wrench emblem on his inner right arm, above the elbow fold
Conveniently obscured most of the time by the tabard sleeve, but visible when he lifts his arm. ...if the Earth kanji is a mark of one bond in a group of them, this one is more being one half of a single bond. Embarrassment about it generally covers much deeper feelings of appreciation for the fact that he actually has something like that, that it was not only given to him but shared between them.
Nowadays when he folds his arms his left hand tends to rest over it.
BONUS: injury scars! They're like tatts!
- raptor teethmarks on his left arm between elbow and upper bracer line, and the wrist below (faded but visible)
From that time during the traits flipover game when he egged on Watanuki to go hunting and ended up having to flee from raptors :') One of them bit down on the forearm and only got partway through thanks to the bracer.
- triple row of clawmarks on the right side of his face, one running across the ear (visible)
GM game, when a raptor got into the dorms and AMBUSH ensued. Got kicked in the face with a foot full of sharp things. As all the healing magic had to go towards more critical wounds these had to finish up more naturally, leaving marks.
- multiple thin cut lines on his right wrist (faded)
From knives and inhumanly sharp nails at different points of time. Unlike the other scars, these were willingly made for someone else's sake.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 06:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:11 am (UTC)- Claude's heart is a nice place! This isn't a surprise at all, but it's reassuring to know he's got open skies in there.
- CABLE. WHY IS THERE A CABLE. This is actually really bugging her, because data transfer is kind of her thing and Claude's heart tiny being some sort of computer (???) or having that interface has left her with all sorts of questions she doesn't exactly think have normal answers.
- Tiny needs more support. Part of why she told him what she did was just . . . under the smiling and the cheer, he's tired. Tired and wavering and that scared her. Saying what she did when she did was the best support she could give.
- It's good that Queen's influence is gone. Go Syaoran!
- Ssssomething's not right with Syaoran but after the whole thing with the stabbing she's not really up to pursuing it, and nor (she thinks) would he welcome it.
- Chrys is still dumb.
- Chrys is still Chrys and she feels better, now, after seeing him again. Thinking about that time before she knew who he was, the time when he looked at her and he was so lost, expecting a loved one and only finding a stranger . . . it aches less now. Like it was something she managed to make right.
- She's very happy she got through it all without messing anything up or changing anything too much.
(Oops.)
Give me three things you've thought of doing with Claude in Sabra but that you're too embarrassed to actually ever play out.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:40 am (UTC)...
idk about 'ever'
1) Playing up the more badtouch-y aspects of the Queen influence onscreen.
2) Hinting at his super secret data-esque nature (but as demonstrated THAT actually did get played out. THE EMBARRASSMENT WAS OVERCOME. )
3) .......generally.... fade-to-black stuff... sometimes not even that far. Sexual situations in general??? '-' Like, for example, back when Ticky was around I thought about getting involved in some of the shenanigans that were happening of that nature but couldn't bring myself to actually... do it. Potential impact on the team aside, trying to play out anything more than PG-13 with Claude has been a long history of mental blocks and steering away... for some reason...
FTR, "kissing" used to be on this list. Likewise "dramatic played-mostly-straight romance".
NOW THEN
Same question for you. o9"
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:51 am (UTC)(A) THINKING TOO MUCH OF HIM IN BRO TERMS FOR TOO LONG, AND
(B) THE ICON ART FROM THE REMAKE IS WAY TOO WHOLESOME AND MAKES ME FEEL TERRIBLE FOR THINKING ABOUT HIM IN "THOSE KINDS OF THINGS"
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 08:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 09:37 am (UTC)1) Be a hero. Do the amazing thing that saves someone/the situation in a totally awesome way. Inception heart falls under this.
2) Bad end or otherwise have some serious drama drama trauma—a major heart break, judge influence . . . Surgeon penalty, back in the day. I'd actually thought of a really great one for that once.
3) Kill someone.
Kururu gets taken by the earth. Reaction?
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 10:16 am (UTC)......silence. Disbelief. YOU'RE LYING, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. Won't rest until he goes to see for himself right then and there, no matter what anyone says, and once he's at the stone....
...after a time, a long time there. Picks himself up. Goes straight to Hydra. Asks Scowl what it was he did to call the Gentleman. Goes to Delpavo and Apple and Kenshin and tells them about it. Get a few others together to throw the kind of funeral party that would suffice.
Faces the Gentleman when he comes, and bluntly asks him what can be done to bring her back, now.
And if told that it's not possible to do it any sooner than "the end of this place", then...
...he nods. And goes back to working to get there, with everything he has. But there aren't any more smiles from him, from that day on till she's freed.
Vice-versa!
no subject
Date: 2011-12-09 11:44 am (UTC)On a personal level, it would be a repeat of when Kenshin disappeared—knowing/not knowing, not being able to check, not even being able to go near because it hits her too hard. That horrible feeling of emptiness where someone she cared about used to be. Desperate faith that . . . some people come back, some do, and if there's any way he can he will.
And burying all of that enough to function and be okay for the people she needs to be okay for (but it's such a tenuous okay, so fragile). And going to see Cepheus, because for her he's dear but to them he's family, and . . .
And standing outside of their door, with all those past perceptions (outsider, traitor, monster) crowding tight about her, and breaking down a bit in front of their door because she can't even bring herself to knock. She doesn't even need to see them to know how they must feel, and she can't even be a support because Claude was the bridge between them and Claude's gone.
Claude's gone.
And she'd get up and go on, because there's no one who would forgive her if she gave up too.
How are things between him and his teammates these days? Just in brief.